THIS IS THE MAIN POST THAT THE STUDENT RESPONDED

Select a potential topic for your dissertation.  Write one to two paragraphs discussing your role as a researcher in your dissertation study answering the following questions in your discussion:

What will your role be in your proposed study?
What are your thoughts feelings and expectations about your topic?
Do you think these will change throughout the research process? And if so how?
What are your perspectives on reflexivity (the qualitative researcher’s engaging in processes of self-awareness and self-criticism), subjectivity (the qualitative researcher’s internal understanding of the phenomenon), and the voice of participants in your topic area?
To what degree will your presence interests and motivations for conducting a study in your area of interest play out in your role as a researcher?

Maccc student respond to the main post

The potential topic I would like to focus on in my dissertation is the impact of internal conscious or unconscious homophobia on behavior.  I come to this topic from a personal perspective.  I was married to a woman for ten years before I came out and even in coming out have really struggled with feelings of shame for being gay.  The act of getting married was a conscious choice to be normal.  The verbal support of traditional marriage between a man and a woman was a conscious choice to do what is right.  The shame I felt after coming out in having any intimate relationship had more unconscious elements.  So, I come into this study believing that people have varied levels of consciousness around their homophobia and do different behaviors (harmful to self and others) without always knowing why. So, I come to this research both as a curious investigator as well as an equal participant in trying to understand the source of the homophobia, the impact of it.  Ultimately, I hope that my own awareness will grow and I can be helpful to others in experiencing more freedom and choice.

My role in the process has to be a facilitator/participant.  There is no way that I can come into a conversation with no opinion or no understanding of life experiences.  I am very clear that I have no real answers, but as a participant, I have my own personal experiences with my own exploration, with religious persecution, and with the act of coming out.

My thoughts and expectations around the topic have two dimensions.  I think people who have had some negative consequences in their lives (either as a bully or as a victim) will have some clear ideas of messages they have heard from family, culture, the church.  I also think those who have grown up in the post "Will and Grace" time period (an influential TV show for GLBTQI) will have some very clear and obvious thoughts on homophobia.  What I also expect, however, is there is a lack of true awareness on some parts of people that drive more risky behavior (unsafe sex) or inconsistent actions (relationship instability, pronoun switching, etc.).

My basic knowledge has come from an n=1 (me) plus research studies or news articles that I have read.  So, I think my thoughts/ideas will change, particularly as different dimensions are brought out by the various potential segments of people.  The role that areas of the country, age, religious affiliation, the perspective of parents on social issues all are bound to create different views, definitions of homophobia, degrees of homophobia, and levels of conscious awareness.  So, hopefully, I can learn ideas outside of myself and research studies to the broad perspectives of people.

My interests and motivation will play out in a deep passion to want to learn but a more important desire to be helpful.  My heart breaks at kids still being kicked out of their home, trans people being killed, or bullying because they are taught to not be in touch with common humanness.  I will need to be a slow listener and not a quick solution seeker. My impatience to want to help has to be balanced with a commitment to understanding.

Marc

References

Bhattacharya, K. (2017). Fundamentals of qualitative research: A practical guide. Routledge.

Creswell, J. W., & Creswell, J. D. (2018). Research design: Qualitative, quantitative, and mixed methods approach (7th ed.). SAGE.